Against Closed Eyes In Marketing

As a hypnotherapist, I am acutely aware of the power of words. A few well-chosen words can induce hypnosis and help my clients with a wide range of problems. I specialise in confidence, self esteem and stress management, so I am particularly interested in the ways in which we influence our own self esteem, and that of others, through use of language.

It makes me wince sometimes, listening to parents speaking to their children. “Are you stupid?” “You naughty boy!” and a personal un-favourite “If you carry on like this you’re going to . . . “

Don’t these parents realise what they’re doing? Everything we say — to ourselves and to others — has predictive power. Not in the sense of a clairvoyant, but because we are creating self-fulfilling prophecies. Tell yourself that you can, and you will. Tell yourself that you can’t, and you won’t.

Of course, life isn’t simply a matter of setting ourselves up with cosy predictions. We still have to do the work. But without self belief, that work becomes harder because it seems impossible. This applies to people of all ages. Just think how much more powerful words are for children, particularly when they come from an authority figure such as a parent or teacher.

How can parents best help their children? Positive parenting is a good first step — focus on rewarding ‘good’ behaviours rather than punishing ‘bad’ones. We can go much further than this, however. We can set our children up for success, relaxation and happiness.

An example from my own family may help. To encourage my nine year old’s writing I asked him to imagine walking through town when he’s grown up and entering a bookshop. There’s something familiar about the display in front of him, and as he draws nearer he sees his own name and photo on the dust cover. It’s a strong image and one which has struck a chord with him. We chat about this from time to time, and he’s started to ask about literary agents and the whole process of getting a book published. In other words, he’s made the transition towards believing that he could be an author.

Children are exceptionally trusting. Describe happy futures and they will work towards these with the same energy which they put into Christmas present lists. Above all, we need to mind our language as parents, and ask ourselves what predictions we are making for our children when we speak to them.

Jim Sullivan is a hypnotherapist specialising in confidence, self esteem and stress management. He may be contacted via http://www.confidenceclub.net

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Studies have shown that:

1 out of 4 children were sent pictures of people who were
naked or having sex?

1 out of 5 children were solicited for sex on the Internet

50% of people have made phone calls with someone the
chatted with online.

Do you know what strangers are saying to your kids?

What can you do to protect your children from unscrupulous
people in the Internet?

Today’s children, and specially teens, spend more time on
the computer. Even though the Internet is nowadays the
primary source of communication for them, it is also a
dangerous place.

There are some unscrupulous people out there that would go
to any extent to engage in indecent conversations and
relationships with your children.

A study done with 1,200 teenagers revealed that 30% had
been sexually harassed online and about 50% had conducted
cyber love affairs, visited porn sites and read their
parents’ e-mails.

Curiosity can be very dangerous. Even though this is normal
at their age, curiosity can lead to giving out personal
information such as names, addresses, phone numbers, school
names and more.

Since the other person talking to your kids cannot be seen,
a 55-year old can pose as a 16-year old and win your kid’s
trust very easily.

I know that we, as parents, are not always watching what
our kids are doing online but it’s important to know the
options we have to protect our children and avoid major
problems.

There are blocking softwares that you can purchase to
filter web sites containing sex, sexuality and other adult
sites. You can also get a spy software that will let you
know everything your kids are doing online.

These softwares will monitor instant messages, chats,
emails, web site URLs and much more. Not only do you see
what your child types online but what is said back as well.
They monitor both incoming and outgoing activity.
Additionally, your kids will not be able to get around the
software programs by clearing cache or history because they
get everything as it happens, including passwords.

These software programs run in total secrecy, and are very
hard to find in the computer. They will not slow down your
computer, or do anything noticeable to the user. In order
to see the recorded information, all you do is enter your
secret password and they will activate…but only for you.

These programs do not appear in the START menu, nor will
they appear in the CTR-ALT-DEL Task Manager.

Protect Your Children Now.

Maria Estarellas is the webmaster for http://www.1mykids.com
“The Complete Website For The Whole Family”. Parenting Tips, Crafts, Hobbies, School Projects and Essays, Toys, Gifts, Clothing, Articles, Mortgage Tips, How to Start Your Own Online Business and More.

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I’m at the kitchen table writing on my laptop while my ten year old son tackles and pins the six year old neighbor girl in the living room. It’s a wrestling match. When the kitchen timer rings, the next round will be my seven year old daughter against the eleven year old neighbor boy. Sometimes they do tag team.

To the casual observer I may look negligent, but I’m actually quite conscious of every move. My laissez-faire style has developed from countless hours spent observing such altercations from a quietly attentive eye in the back of my head. This group of kids has always displayed an underlying concern for each other. They’ve earned the privilege of holding wrestling matches. Despite the many thumps, thuds and crashes, no one has ever been hurt.

The big ones somehow control their bodies so as not to hurt the little ones. It is really an amazing thing to witness . . . I’m not quite sure how they do it. They’re like puppies. They feel where each person stops and starts, they sense the line between play and abuse, and they really don’t want to cross it. They just need and want to get physical in their play together.

Parents are often concerned about physical interactions between kids. We feel the urge to rush in and protect the little ones. We set down all kinds of rules designed to keep things safe — no hitting, no pushing, sometimes even no name-calling (I’ll tackle that one in another article). But these rules are not necessary for the kids. They are for us, so that we feel like watchful and responsible parents. In most cases, kids do not want to hurt each other. Even when they are fighting for real, not just wrestling. They simply want to defend their own bodies, possessions and personal space.

For example, if one child grabs a toy that another child was already using, the natural reaction will be to grab it back, push the offender away, and then go back to playing. Rarely will the one who was using the toy put it down in order to pursue or punish the offender. And rarely will the offender persist more than once or twice when met with this kind of resistance.

It is only when we grownups interfere with this natural feedback loop that things can get out of control. This is because often we ask the one who was violated to use his or her words to get the toy back. Guess what, folks? This hardly ever works with young children! They are physical, not verbal. I know, we think we are teaching them to be civilized and all that. But to take away a child’s natural and appropriate defense against a violation and substitute one that is usually ineffective leaves the child with no way to protect himself. At which point he becomes an enticing victim, and as he is violated again and again and not allowed to defend himself effectively he gets angry. And when we aren’t looking he really wallops the other kid.

I first observed this dynamic when my daughter was about a year old. She would just grab a toy out of her 3 year old brother’s hand and run away. I had taught him that under no circumstances was he to hit his sister. She totally ignored his civilized request that the toy be returned. So unless he came and got me and asked me to intervene, he lost his toy!

My rule had disempowered him and set him up to be victimized. It also made me the enforcer, and involved me in almost every one of their interactions. If I was too busy to help, he lost. When I got interrupted repeatedly from whatever I was doing to be the toy police, I lost!

It didn’t take long for me to see that this was just not going to work. I was annoyed from the constant interruptions. My baby daughter was well on her way to becoming a bully. And coincidentally, right around that same time something strange happened to our hallway. It must have become a lot narrower, because suddenly it seemed impossible for them to pass each other in opposite directions without his elbow making contact with her chest and knocking her over. (and we wonder about the roots of sibling rivalry)

So I taught him that he was allowed to take back whatever she grabbed, using words accompanied by force if necessary. And he was also allowed to hold her arms down to her sides when she started hitting him. In this way balance was restored. She learned that there were unpleasant consequences to grabbing and hitting. He learned how to defend his space without becoming overly angry or aggressive. I was relieved to see that they could really work things out on their own without my constant intervention. And as an added bonus, our hallway returned to its normal size.

A key part to this strategy is that the one who is enforcing their boundaries is not allowed to use any more force than is necessary to stop the attack. So if my son were to grab the toy back and then chase her around the house hitting her over the head with it, I’d need to intervene.

When I encouraged this intuitive balancing, conditions became very conducive to forgiveness. Anger did not build up to the level of a grudge. A violation occurred, it was corrected, and they got right back to the business of playing, which was all they wanted to do in the first place.

I wonder what a child raised in this way would have to say about the current world situation? Maybe that people must not be allowed to hurt other people, violate boundaries, or threaten the safety of others. So we will use only exactly as much force as is necessary to protect ourselves and others from violation. And then as soon as possible we’ll get back to the business of living together as stewards of this planet.

Copyright 2001 Karen Alonge

Karen Alonge is an intuitive life coach and parenting consultant with 20 years of experience helping families with all types of challenges. She offers consultations by phone, email, and IM. Clients often notice dramatic changes in their daily experience after only one session. Please visit http://www.karenalonge.com for more information.

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An Education Staff of Athalia School, Tangerang, Indonesia.

If someone has the ability to read does not mean he directly has the interest to read. Reading skill and reading interest are 2 kinds of different matters. Many schools in the developing countries struggle to educate their society to be able to master the reading skills. For example in Indonesia, some parts of the society still have no ability to read because of their poorness in getting education opportunity or because they live in a very remote area.

Many people in developing countries still struggle with the basic needs such as food, clothes and housing so that they do not have idea or budget for books, even for education.

Because of that situation, the culture of reading habit is far from their reach. Even though some of them already have a better living, their thought is still focused on something that is more real, functional, comforting, money- value or something that can improve their prestige like jewelries, hand phones, luxuries housing & cars, expensive toys, etc. Because the culture of reading is not formed yet, the society spend most of their free time for watching TV or chatting.

For some family who has realized the important of books and education, it is still hard for them to increase the reading interest and habit of their children because they have to spend more money for buying books that are getting more expensive. Libraries are rare. Even many schools have no libraries. But there are still some ideas to increase children’s reading habit in the midst of not ideal condition.

First, if you realize that reading habit is important for you and your children, start the reading habit in your own family without blaming the situation around you. Your habit will sooner or later influence your surroundings. Read your children everyday or regularly to form their reading habit and their love of books. It does not matter if you only have ten minutes everyday. It still also gives you good impact. Let your children know that you enjoy the time you share with them for reading. They will love both the time for reading and the time to attach with you.

Second, include expense for books in your budget. It does not matter if you only spend a little of money according to what you can afford. The important thing is you plan and budget it routinely every month. You and your children should often visit bookshop or book fair.

Third, visit any libraries that are available in your neighborhood, schools, universities, clubs, etc. Ask the children to visit the libraries will increase their love for books.

Fourth, you can decrease the expense of books if you can exchange your books with your friends, relatives or neighbors. Sharing books will increase our knowledge in a cheaper way. You can hold a book club where you and the other members (adults and children) can bring their collection of books and share them.

Fifth, you can make your own books. Reading books does not always mean buying books. We can borrow them, share them or make them by ourselves. Children will be enthusiastic if you make a personal book especially made for them. You can use their photographs, handmade pictures, etc to make the book. You can stick the photographs or pictures on some sheets of blank paper, then you write some comments about them. You can arrange the photographs from the child’s birth till he is growing. You also can cut and stick the brochure from the hospital where the baby was born to complete the book. You or your children can draw something on that books, too. You can put the photographs of grandpa, grandma or other relatives to introduce your big family to your children. You can also stick some pictures that reveal your culture or the customs of your society so that the children will learn about their ancestors’ culture and tradition.

The handmade books can be varied in themes. Maybe you want to tell your children about your job and what you are doing while you are away from them. You can take some pictures of your office, your friends, your projects, places you visited, etc and make a book from that pictures. The children will be happy and trust you because they know what you are doing when they miss you. It is important especially for career women who often leave their children.

It’s cheap but excited if you ask your children to make their own books. They can draw or cut pictures from magazines and write their own stories according to their imagination. If your children is still to young to write, you can ask them to tell you the stories of the pictures and you write it for them. After that, read the books for them. They will be very proud of them.

For you yourself, you can collect a lot information from newspaper, magazines, internet, brochures and any other printing materials to make a clipping of information. For example, if you like cooking, you can collect many recipes from many resources and also add your own recipes that you write or type. Bundle those information to make your personal cooking book. If you need information about technology, you can also do the same although you must work harder to collect more information. The important thing is financial problem and lacking of books do not stop your enthusiastic for reading. There are many ways to get and collect information.

Sixth, there is another way that will make children interested in book. Usually children like watching cartoon like “Nemo, Lion King, Mickey Mouse, Winnie the Pooh” or may be there are some traditional legends, puppets or stories that the children love very much. It is very interesting if they watch the movie or show and then read the books. The books can be bought or made by yourself.

Seventh, It is creative if you can dramatize the story you read to your children. For example, if the story is about a king and a queen, you can pretend to be the king and your child is the queen. You can pile up some pillows as your throne and wear a hat as your crown. You and your children can also roar like lions if there are some lions in the story. Children will be very enthusiastic to do that. You can do what the story is about, too. For example, the story is about going to the zoo, you can go to the zoo, too. Or if the story is about fruit, you can go to the market or supermarket to observe them. Bring the information in the story into reality or action.

Eighth, give books as gifts for your children instead of toys. I do not mean that toys are not good for children. I think educational toys are very important for children but you should introduce books as gifts so that the children will respect books as valuable gifts. You can give books for your children as their birthday presents, Christmas presents or when they have good achievement in schools.

Ninth, your reading habit should be the example for your children because deeds speak louder than words. If your children often see you reading, they will know that reading is a good habit that mom and dad often do. How if you yourself do not like reading but you realized that reading is very important for your children ?. It is a fact that many adults do not like reading but there are some tips that you can do to overcome this problem. Find the books that are suitable with your hobbies. If you like cooking, read many recipes or books about cooking. You can also chase your favorite novels. Talk to yourselves that books are important because they can broaden your point of view, your knowledge, skills and even improve your career as well as give you relaxation. Switch off your television, because we usually spend more time for watching television that what we plan. Put the books on the places that are easy to see and access like in your bedroom, in the living room, in the kitchen, in the car, etc. Ask your friends what books they are reading now or books that are good in their opinion. You will be more motivated if you hear that your friends promoted them to you. Make a list what books you have read and what books you plan to read. You will be satisfied if the list is becoming longer. Visit the bookstores, book fairs and libraries. The best thing to do is do it now ! Do not wait until you have enough time or until you think you want to do it later.

Tenth, make sure that books and reading habit are one of your priority because you know the benefit of them. From books you can introduce a lot of knowledge to your children. There is no limit of knowledge if we can learn it by ourselves through reading both from books or from the internet. Do not wait until your children able to read to give them books. Start as soon as they were born. If you often communicate with your babies and read stories for them, their language ability will increase. Although they have not been able to response you through words, they absorb the words you speak to them (Beck, 1997). Do not only give fiction books for young children although they usually like fiction with cute pictures like Winne The Pooh or Mickey mouse. They will also be enthusiastic if you give them non fiction books like books of knowledge such as books about human body, solar system, sea animals, etc. Introduce them to the knowledge since they are very young so that they will like the knowledge and their curiosity will increase, too.

Besides, through books we can teach our children about some concept, value or belief. When it is difficult to tell them not to cheat, you can find a children book with interesting pictures that contains of moral teaching concerning cheating. I have an experience with my little boy when he was afraid of visiting a dentist. Before we visited the dentist, I read him a book about going to the dentist. It is a funny story because the dentist is a tiger and the patient is a little tiger. The little tiger is very brave to see the dentist. This book made my son brave enough to see the dentist because he wanted to be a brave little boy like the little tiger was.

But remember that only good books should you and your children read because some books can be very destructive if they are not suitable with your value or belief. For example, there are many books that contains of pornography and violence that can influence you and your children’s mind. You must be very selective in reading or giving books for your children because our mind is not like a computer. You can delete some data in your computer but you can not erase the information or imagination in your children’s mind. If you think that your children have already been fond of wrong books, do not forbid them directly to stop their habit of reading them. Instead, influence them with your opinion that they should be able to choose which books are good and which books are not so that they will not resist. Let them know from the beginning that they can choose their books but give them some limitation which books are acceptable, which books are not and your reason of that limitation.

There is another benefit of books. You can use it to teach your children foreign languages. Children’s brain is easier to absorb language than adult (Beck, 1997). If you take your little children live abroad, they will master the language when they interact with the children from other countries. If a child is raised by a couple of different nationalities, the child will be able to speak two languages of his parents. I know a child whose father is a Japanese and mother is an Indonesian. This child master both Japanese and Indonesian. Because of children’s ability to absorb new languages fast, you can use foreign language story books to introduce and teach them the languages. Maybe you yourselves only know a little about this language but if you can just read it for them, the vocabularies and structures of the language will be remembered by them.

I am an Indonesian. I read my son English story books when he was 3 years old. I just read the books again and again and then he can repeat the story by himself as if he can read it. He can also repeat the structures in a daily conversation. For example, the book says ” Cat can eat. Cat can drink”. While he was eating, he could say “I can eat, I can drink”. There is another book that says ” Teddy flies higher and higher”. While he was playing, he climbed on a chair and then he jumped to the floor saying ” I can fly higher and higher.” I think the influence of the books is very prominent. The important thing is you have to find a simple story book which has a big picture and a few words or sentences and repeat the story many times as long as your children is not boring. You can choose what foreign language you want to introduce to your children. Just find the simple story books and repeat them in a regular basis. Sooner or later he will remember the vocabularies and recognize the structures.

There are many benefits of books, but you do not always have to buy them. As it is explained above, you can borrow them, share them or make them by yourself. Use your imagination to produce your simple drawings. Or use the pictures from newspapers or magazines to make your own books. Arrange the pictures and the words according to your idea and you will have your personal collection cheaply but creatively made just for your children and yourselves. The value can’t be compared. So do not wait until you have enough money to buy books or wait until you have enough time to read or wait until your children are big enough to read books by themselves. Start it now ! No matter the condition of your financial problem is. If you invest your time and your kids’ time for reading good books, you invest better future for your family.

Anna Yulia lives in Tangerang, Indonesia. She is working as an education staff of Athalia School in Tangerang, Indonesia. Athalia School is a Christian School that provides education for playgroup, kindergarten and elementary level.

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What do we adults do when our friends call us with problems in their lives? We listen. We sympathize. We support. We validate their feelings. Maybe, just maybe, we carefully step in with a little advice.

When your kids have problems, do you abandon those wonderful listening skills and jump in to tell them how to fix their problems or analyze their handling of a situation? Yes, you have life experience. Yes, you have wisdom. Yes, you can probably save your child some grief if only he ‘listened to you’.
Most likely you cannot fix their problems anyway, or they may just tune you out, and most of all, they miss a chance to learn a life management skill.

If you gave your kids what you give your friends when they need a listener, chances are better that you will get what every parent craves: an inside view of what is going on in the mind of their child.
So give yourself a break. Just listen. Give your kids what you would give your best friend. Here are five tips to help you really listen to your kids.

1. Listen without interruption. That says “What you feel matters to me.”

2. Accept their feelings no matter how absurd, misguided, or naive they seems to you. Of course you want to guide your children to have sound values but where possible, let them have experience in ‘figuring it out’ themselves.

3. If you feel your child is stuck and it is important that you try to help, ask permission to enter the subject: “Do you want me to tell you what I think?” or “Can I make a suggestion?” And make it a couple of good quick, to-the-point nuggets, and pause. As your child trusts that you will allow him to do his own problem solving, he will be more receptive and even interested in your views.

4. Listen for the feelings behind the words. It helps kids to feel understood. As you hear your child’s words, ask yourself “What is my child feeling about this matter?” Frustrated? Proud? Confused?

5. Use a reflective listening formula: “You feel __________because_________.”
. After you hear your child’s words, you mirror back words that you believe describe how she feels. “You feel let down because Lori did not call you when she said she would.” Do not presume to know your child’s feelings. If you are not sure, say, in a questioning tone: “Let me see if I have this right. You feel angry because you did not make it on time to get to play in the game.” This one is particularly helpful for practicing feelings identification with kids and adults who have Autism or Asperger Syndrome.

Special tip for success: In the beginning, your child may find this new way of communicating strange and perhaps not trustworthy. Do not force it, be patient, be consistent with your listening skills, giving your child time to figure it out, relax and trust in it.

Ellen Mossman-Glazer M.Ed. is a Life Skills Coach and Behavioral Specialist, specializing in Asperger Syndrome, High Functioning Autism, ADHD, and learning difficulties. Over her 20 years in special education classrooms and treatment settings, Ellen has seen the struggle that children and adults have when they feel they don’t fit in. She now works in private practice by phone, teleconference groups and email, helping parents, educators, caregivers and their challenging loved ones, to find their own specific steps and tools to thrive. Ellen is the author of two on line e-zines, Emotion Matters: Tools and Tips for Working with Feelings and Social Skills: The Micro Steps. Subscribe for free and see more about Ellen at http://artofbehaviorchange.com/ You can take a free mini assessment which Ellen will reply to with your first action step.

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Kids are weird. Watch them playing and try to tell me differently. I recently found my daughters happily ‘polishing’ their wooden play set with hand soap and conditioner. When asked what they were doing they said they were turning it into a rock museum and that it needed sprucing up. Adora, my eight year old, likes to think that our back deck is actually a pirate ship called ‘The Bloody Cutlass’, though Adrianna, who is ten, favors ‘The Devil’s Knife’.

Adora and Adrianna have both been labeled writing prodigies, but their imaginations, though brilliant, are nothing out of the ordinary. Most kids have an imaginary pirate ship or two up their sleeves.

Why then, do these same kids claim that they don’t know what to write about? How do we transmit this natural talent for make-believe to paper? How do we harness the power of imagination?

For starters, we stop using words like ‘harness’. Kids don’t want to be harnessed and they can see that sort of thing coming from a mile away. The real trick is to ‘unharness’ your child’s mind. Due to the rigid requirements of standardized testing, children have learned to associate writing with dull book reports, finicky grammar and punctuation requirements, and endless rules.

If your children don’t display a natural interest or aptitude for writing it’s best to blow the rules out of the water and just encourage them to let loose, to get it all down, and to think about conventions later. Don’t bug them about grammar, punctuation, structure, etc. Don’t encourage them to write about ‘constructive’ things. Encourage them to write about their real opinions of school or rules, or encourage them to get as off-the-wall as possible. Once your children realizes the sheer joy of expression and comes to think of writing as a place without rules or censorship, they will begin to think of writing as a form of entertainment. This is key.

Did I just say no censorship? I did. Kids have a fascination with vulgar, disgusting, and forbidden things. If writing becomes a place where they are free to explore and to express opinions or fascinations they are not allowed to express in ‘polite’ society, writing will have the allure of true freedom. An allure, as we all know, that is hard to match.

If your encourage your kids to let loose and tell them that there are no rules or boundaries they may write some stuff you don’t approve of. They may write stuff that is grammatically incorrect, full of structural errors, or just plain bad. But I can almost guarantee that they will get caught up in the mischief and novelty of being allowed to do whatever they want, and that they will come out of these exercises with a different attitude about writing.

Once your child actually likes to write, you have all the time in the world to work on conventions, grammar, and content. Because a love for writing, once established, is hard to squelch. Love leads to talent, and writing talent leads to mastery of all subjects. It’s a little known secret that the pirate ship ‘The Devil’s Knife’ can sail your child to academic success.

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When I close my eyes, the world that revolves around me is wonderful. But this world vanishes the moment I open my eyes.

I have my world in the dark. I have peace love and respect there. My brighter world, the world I see when I open my eyes is a world of fear to me.

I never go the love I needed. While growing up, I was trouble to my family. I did not share good relations with anyone. The only friend who listened to me was my pet Jack. My pet was the only one that had time enough to stay and love me. When the warmth from its body enveloped me, I forgot the cruel world and wonder about the warmth of parents who had given me birth.

I wonder if I am the only one or whether there are many others like me who are always craving for a little bit of love.

I was not good in studies as I used to spend all my days daydreaming about a life filled with love. While all my friends’ parents used to attend the parents-teacher’ meetings, my parents failed to attend any such meeting and I used to wait for them to make an appearance, but all my waiting was in vain.

My parent’s attitude depressed me, and as such I was slowly attracted to the world of daydreams.

I started making up piles of dreams where my parents loved me, took very good care of me and filled up the empty portion of my heart with their love.

But these dreams never came true. My parents were too money-minded to have any time for me. They know money did not grow on trees and toiled so hard to earn enough that they forgot the child that they had borne.

I often hear them say that they have worked hard and earned money in order that I may have a secure future, but they have forgotten about my present. They care more about the position and profits of the company than they do about my education and health.

I need love.
And I know I am deluding myself by escaping into my world of dreams. But even if it is fake, I can find love there.

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As a teenager growing up in a small town in Oregon in the 50’s, I had no desire to finish high school.  For one thing, my dad never finished.  Also, my big ambition in life was to be a cartoonist, and I was, in fact, already selling some of my cartoons to small magazines.  My hero, Walt Disney, had never finished high school, and I felt that if he could quit and succeed, so could I.  But my mother would never hear of it, so reluctantly, I continued to go.

In about my sophomore year I began to sell cartoons to a small magazine in Thousand Oaks, California.  It was called Computer News and was a trade journal about the computers of that time.  These were nothing like the laptops we know today…they were huge Univac computers which filled an entire room.  I knew nothing about them, but still somehow managed to come up with cartoons about them.

In my correspondence with the editor, a Mr. Jackson Granholm, I mentioned my desire to quit high school and go into cartooning full time.  He wrote back urging me to stay in school, spouting off all the reasons why school was important.  To convince him I knew better, I told him about how Walt Disney had quit. 

A few weeks later, I was waiting at the mailbox, waiting to see if any magazines had bought any of the cartoons I had recently submitted.  When the mail came I was quite surprised to see one letter addressed to me from Walt Disney studios. 

It was from their personnel department, and I was sure it was a job offer.  Not so.  They told me that Mr. Jackson Granholm had contacted them on my behalf and explained my attitude about finishing high school.  They advised me very strongly to stay in high school, pointing out that they never even considered applicants without a high school education and preferred some college.

It took the winds out of my sails, but I guess it taught me two things:  I was no Walt Disney, and times had changed.  I finished high school, and went on for two years of college.  Years later I worked for Walt Disney studios, as well as a couple of other major film studios, plus I have been doing cartooning on a freelance basis for years.  To date I have been published in hundreds of publications, and I admit the college education was no deterrent at all.

Ron Coleman is a freelance cartoonist and writer living in Oakridge, Oregon.  His work has appeared in hundreds of trade publications and newspapers, plus he continues to do work for clients on the internet.  Today he is semi-retired and spends a lot of his time working on learning Flash animation.  His work can be seen on his website:
http://www.coleman-cartoons.com

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Many companies advertise their products as being educational. How much of this terminology is sales promotion and jargon, and how much is fact?

As an educator for many years, I can say with authority, that there is educational value in all types of jigsaw puzzles. The skills acquired and practiced in completing jigsaw puzzles are a foundational part of successful learning. Doing jigsaw puzzles develops several functions of the brain simultaneously as a child has fun and also learns. Most notably developed in this learning process are the abilities to reason, deduce, analyze, sequence, and develop logical thought and problem solving skills. Physically, eye-hand coordination and spatial awareness are also required to complete a jigsaw puzzle.

Putting these benefits aside, I want to look particularly at the jigsaw puzzles that are labeled “Educational”. These puzzles are designed to teach a specific learning objective. Some examples of these might be a jigsaw puzzle map of the world, or of the solar system. The manufacturers claim that such puzzles will teach a child those specific facts. What educational value in reality do these types of puzzles contain?

Firstly the degree of the educational value of these types of puzzles is dependant on how the puzzles are used in the learning process. For example, let us suppose that the learning objective is to learn about the geography of the United States of America, specifically the position of the individual states. You buy a puzzle picturing all the states and their position in the country, and give it to the child to do. Will the child ace a test on the States? Probably not! I’m sure that some learning will take place, but it will be limited and a few weeks later very little of the learning would be retained. To the child the learning process of doing that puzzle would be similar to any jigsaw puzzle that they do. Their focus on the states and where they fit is limited to the process of completing the puzzle.

In order to maximize the educational value of a jigsaw puzzle, it needs to part of the learning process, but not all of it.

Children have different styles of learning and an advantage of a jigsaw puzzle is that it does involve using more than one type of learning aptitude in the process of completing it. The most obvious learning style for a puzzle is the visual. In doing a puzzle of the USA the child will see the overall shape and also how the various states fit together to complete the whole. Jigsaw puzzles involve both the global (big picture) and analytic (details) aspects of learning. Puzzles are also good for the kinesthetic tendencies of learners. Kinesthetic learners learn best by practical hands on activities. For those with a auditory preference in learning, conversation about the learning and the correlations in the puzzle combined with the overall learning objectives, needs to happen at the same time as the puzzle is being done.

However the greatest educational benefit comes when the jigsaw puzzle is done as part of the overall learning objective. A jigsaw puzzle can be used to introduce a new subject as well as reinforce learning that has already occurred. The educational value increases to the extent that the subject of the puzzle is meaningful to the knowledge the child already has. To the degree that the child can correlate his prior knowledge with the puzzle experience, the more educational value is gained.

The jigsaw puzzle can also create new learning experiences. These experiences can then be developed in many other ways for an overall learning experience. For example, in doing a puzzle on American Geography, famous landmarks located on the puzzle could then be looked up and researched in books or on the Internet. Stories can be read or told about historical events that occurred. The actual size of an American state could be explored by working out how long it would take to travel across by car or train. The learning possibilities are endless.

Some educational puzzles such as ‘Faces and Places’ and ‘The Map of the Solar System’ ,produced by the Great American Puzzle Company come accompanied by a guide book that can be used to get the maximum educational benefit and value from the jigsaw puzzles.

In conclusion, it can be said that all jigsaw puzzles have educational value to some extent. The puzzles that are advertised as ‘educational’ can be of great educational value if introduced, not in isolation, but as part of a specific learning goal that has both relevance and purpose for the child.

Any time spent doing a jigsaw puzzle with your child will make it a more meaningful and memorable experience. Don’t just give your child a present of a jigsaw puzzle-instead give your child an educational experience and a memory that will last a lifetime.

Barbara White, of Beyond Better Development, has over twenty years experience as a parent, teacher and Principal.
The jigsaw puzzles referred to in this article can be purchased at http://www.thepuzzlemania.com

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As many of you know, my book “The Barbarian’s Guide to Success” talks about not only making more money, but it also talks about having a successful family. Part of a successful family, is having successful children.

I was talking to a Phys. Ed. coach in a public school the other day. He was telling me some amazing things about the children he coaches. Apparently most of the children are in horrible shape. He was telling me that he has children twist their ankles when running on the track on a regular basis. Most have problems with any physical activity.

I heard a story on the news a few months ago that said the Army had to change its workout program in basic training because new recruits were getting stress fractures from the exercise. Now folks, all they do in calisthenics. Push ups and sit ups and jumping jacks. Stress fractures from that!

When I was a child we had to run laps regularly. We played hard, and were embarrassed to ask to go to the nurse. If one of us had to go to the nurse from running on the track we would have never lived it down.

My point is not that children should make fun of each other, but that many of our children are wimps.

I read an article a few years ago about how attitudes toward child rearing are changing. According to the article, fathers traditionally encouraged children to do things that were physical and mothers, traditionally, wanted to protect children from the potential harm that comes with such activity. I know this is not 100% true, as my mother encouraged me to play sports if I wanted to, but the article did say in general. According to the article, fathers are not encouraging their children as much. They are trying to protect the children more, much like what mother traditionally do. The result, kids that do very little or no exercising. Children that complain at the mildest ache or pain. In short, out of shape wimps. I did not believe it, but it seems to be coming true.

Now I know that you don’t want your child to be a wimp, so here are a few things to help get them in batter shape:

1.Throw out the video games and turn the “boob tube” off. To many kids are spending to much time in front of the TV.

2.Cook meals and keep tabs on what your child eats. I know it is hard sometimes, but if you don’t keep track they will be eating nothing but honey buns and Ho-Ho’s. BTW Boston Market’s non-fried chicken is as bad or worse than other restaurants. Eating out should be a treat not the norm. Cook a meal and sit down as a family and eat. Your children will be healthier, both physically and mentally.

3. Along the lines of number 2, pack a lunch. School lunches are the worst and most children eat out of a vending machine at school. Take a few minutes and pack a lunch, its worth it. They’ll do better in school and be healthier and happier.

4.Teach your younger children to ride their bike and make your older ones play some sports. The older kids don’t have to be sports stars, but make them play tennis or swim or SOMETHING.

5. Kick the kids out of the house. Make them go out and play. To many children spend to much time indoors. Too much sun is harmful, but too little is as well, Savvy?!?

So make the kids get stronger. Make them run and play. Forget the video games. If they want to shoot something they can do it with cap guns. (Don’t tell me about the teen shooting stories on the news. Every single one of my friends and I played with cap guns and none of us killed someone. The problem with those kids ain’t toy guns, it is something way more serious.)

At the end of the day, make them move. They need it.

And with that I will say

Get the Barbarian Mind Set and keep it. Stay trú to yourself and your family, the rest will take care of itself.

Everte Farnell is a author and speaker and professional coach. In May of 2003 Everte was a divorced broke single father. Two and a half years later Everte is a happily married father of two. The company he and his wife worked to build supplies his family with a six figure income, and his children are happy healthy and well adjusted. He lives a life that many dream of. It is the life that he dreamed of in May of 2003.

In October of 2005 he released his book “The Barbarian’s Guide to Success” and is dedicated to helping other realize their dreams. He is a straight forward, politically incorrect, figure and makes very little time for detractors. He often says “So many ‘coaches’ have made their money by coaching. I do everything I coach. It is important that people know that I have faced or do face the same challenges they face. Life is an integrated process. Your professional life must support your personal and family life and vice versa, otherwise you will never find true success.” Everte Can be reached at his web page http://www.successfulBarbarian.com

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