I used to put everyone else’s requests and needs first and if
there was any time left over at the end of the day for what I
needed and wanted to do, that was acceptable — until I began to
realize that if you and I are going to have fun and be effective
in our lives, we have to stay away from allocating our time
solely on the basis of those who demand it. Instead, we have to
allocate our time on the basis of those who deserve it.

I don’t mean this in any negative or arrogant way. It’s just you
and I have limits to the amount of time we have to spend, and so
one of the most powerful words in your vocabulary is the word
“no”, as in “What part of NO didn’t you understand?”

Almost everyone you encounter will think they have a better idea
about how you should be spending your time. It doesn’t make
others bad. It’s just the way the world works. If there is a
void in your life, someone, or many someones for that matter,
will jump in to try and fill that spot.

The problem is that they do not have the full understanding of
where you are taking your life. If you keep saying “yes”, they
will continue to take up your time, possibly keeping you from
accomplishing what you really want to do.

“No” is sometimes difficult to say because you have been taught
differently. You have been taught to say, “yes”, to please, to
serve, and to accommodate.

There is nothing wrong with saying “yes” some or even most of
the time, but occasionally there is a line you choose not to
cross, when saying “yes” is really not the best use of your time
to get you to where you need and want to be.

If you had unlimited amounts of time, you could “yes” all the
time to everyone. But you don’t. You have 24 hours each day, 7
days a week for a total of 168 hours. And you get to spend that
time only once, so you have to spend it wisely.

Seventeen Ways to Say “No”

Take the ones you like, change them around and use the words
that are comfortable for you. The point is if you are ever in a
position when you can never say “no”, then you are always saying
“yes”, and like the song says, “If you don’t stand for
something, you will fall for everything”.

Like everything else about the PLORK philosophy, have fun with
these!

1. “I’m sorry. That’s not a priority for me right now.”

2. “I can’t help you on this now, but I can get to it next week.
Would that be okay?”

3. “I have so much on my plate now I don’t know when I can get
to it. But I do know someone over here who can help you now.”

4. “Before I take this on for you, let me show you a few things
so that you might be able to do it yourself.”

5. “I have made so many commitments to others, it would be
unfair to them and you if I took on anything more at this point.”

6. “If I can’t give you a ride to the school dance on Friday,
how else would you get there safely?”

7. “I don’t know how soon I can help you on this, but I will get
back to you as soon as I am free to help you.”

8. “I’m sure we’re close enough that when I say “no” you’ll
understand it’s for a good reason.”

9. “Sure I can help you with your request as long as we both
agree and understand that the item I agreed to do for you
yesterday is going to have to wait.”

10. “Before I take this over from you, what do you think we
ought to do about it?”

11. “I’ve got good news and bad news. The good news is, I can do
that for you. The bad news is, I’m so overloaded with everything
else, I’ve become delirious and have been lying about my
commitments.”

12. “When I get overwhelmed like I am now, I remove every third
person who asks me for something, from my “Good Friends List”
and the second person just left.”

13. “No.”

14. “Thanks for thinking to ask me, but, no thanks.”

15. “I would like to help you out on this but I don’t have the
resources available to do the right job for you.”

16. “Now that’s the type of thing I would love to help you on if
only I had the time.”

17. “Just like you, I get overloaded sometimes and have to tell
some very special people, “no”. This is one of those times.”